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Parents refer to them as the ‘terrible twos’ because that roughly year to year and a half around the time children turn two is the point in their development when they discover the concept of their own independence for the first time. They begin to grasp their own autonomy and discover the word “No”. It is an important stage of human development but it can be a tough time for parents.
All requests, directives, suggestions, unappealing questions, and commands are all met with the magical new word. “No!” It’s time to go to bed. No. Give your sibling back their toy. No. Ready for your bath? No. Wait for me before crossing the street. No. We’re having spaghetti tonight. No. We have to wait until after supper to have a cookie. No. Let’s go outside. No. Let’s watch a video. No.
No is a powerful word and it is vital for our health and functioning throughout our lives that we learn how to say it. The trouble with the terrible two’s is that it becomes the response to virtually everything. For the first time we realize we have the capacity to resist doing the things we don’t like. The nasty grown-ups can still overpower us and they still hold all the cards but even as tiny as we are our resistance makes the whole process infinitely more difficult for them. And if we kick up a big enough stink…