The Pro’s And Con’s Of Being ‘Unflappable’

Being consistently calm and stable in any situation has its advantages but also its costs.

Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

Stable, consistent, calm, unfazable these are almost always sited as being a positive attributes. They’re viewed as signs of great confidence, maturity, and at times even attributed somewhat monk-like wisdom. People feel safe to approach you, to talk to you about anything, to be vulnerable, to turn to you in times of strife. Being someone people feel they can trust in any situation is an admirable and respected position. But how do people get there? How do they do it?

We all have emotions. Some people by nature have much less intense or demonstrable emotional reactions and responses. Others work at it, developing skills of de-escalation and compartmentalization. Some attain these things simply because of their innate nature, others out of necessity born from their circumstances.

As respected or admired as it may be an unflappable existence is not without its potential costs. Both in terms of what it takes to achieve in the first place as well as what it can mentally and emotionally cost to maintain. And there can also be a distancing impact engendered by the somewhat monk-like image.

I am known for being the kind of person who doesn’t ignite or ‘fly off the handle’. I am often described as eternally calm…