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I love and am very proud of who I am. I have worked hard to know and understand myself as thoroughly and honestly as I can and done my best to live a life which is as authentic and loyal to that self as possible. I have been fortunate enough, incredibly so in several cases, to have access to opportunities which have allowed me build and follow path genuinely my own. Sometimes it has clicked together nicely, sometimes it has been hard and painful, sometimes it has brought amazing rewards, and sometimes it has cost a great deal. I love and am very proud of who I am but I am far from perfect.
The “You’re perfect just the way you are” phrase is one we initially offer in an effort to fend off someone’s feelings of self-hatred, whether self-generated or as the result of others’ abusive behavior. Imparting the message that we are all valid and worthy is noble, important, and can have invaluable impact on someone whose sense of self-worth has been damaged. The trouble is by adding the word ‘perfect’, for more powerful emphasis and more poetic prose, other messages and connotations hitch along for the ride opening the door for other problems on different fronts.
Over the past couple of decades the sentiment of the phrase has morphed from being a…